Yes, it's true. Though I suppose one could argue that I'm the one still using a binky. I'm adult enough to admit that I've been using the binky as a crutch for more than a year now. And I'll admit that it's all my fault she's still using a binky. Lee wanted to get rid of it when Abby turned three. I argued that three was too young to take away her most favorite thing, her best sleep aid, and her most effective sedative. (We only let her use it at night after she turned 2.) I asked that we wait until Abby was three and a half before making her give up her binky - before making me give it up that is. Lee agreed, reluctantly.
And now, Abby is 3 and a half.
So, I invented the "Binky Fairy." I was opposed to the idea of arbitrarily combing the house for all her binkies and then throwing them away before she knew they were gone. And I certainly wasn't going to force her to throw them all away. I didn't want to rip it out of Abby's control. I wanted to give Abby the chance to volunteer to relinquish her binky.
The truth is I got the idea from the "Super Nanny" TV show. There was an episode about a little boy who was addicted to his sippy cup. He couldn't go anywhere without it. The Super Nanny explained that it's not just about feeling secure with his cup; it's also about control. The boy can't control the world around him, but he can control that cup (especially since mommy caved to him every time regarding the cup). The Nanny asked if the little boy could release his cup into the ocean (they lived on the beach) so that other little boys and girls could use the sippy cup too. She explained that he would never get another sippy cup but the other little boys and girls would love to have his. The little boy agreed and voluntarily gave his cup to the ocean. It was all symbolic, really, but the boy got to stay in control even though it meant saying good bye to his cup.
I didn't know if it would work on Abby, but I wanted to give her the chance. Enter Binky Fairy.
I explained to Abby that the Binky Fairy was here because she thought that Abby was too old to keep using her binky. Binkies are for babies. They make babies happy. It was time for Abby to give up her binky so that the fairy could take it to a little baby who needed it. Didn't Abby want to make another baby happy by sharing her binky with them? It would certainly make the Binky Fairy happy.
Abby thought about it. She talked it over some more with me. Then she asked if she could talk to the Binky Fairy on her own. I said sure and left the room. When I came back, Abby said that the Binky Fairy was willing to leave a small present under her pillow that night if Abby let her take the binky. (We had been talking about the Tooth Fairy a week or so before this.) Oh, really?!? And would that help her to give up her binky? Yes, she said.
I was not at all opposed to a little bribery at this point.
So I agreed, the Binky Fairy agreed, and so did Abby. She even shook hands with the blue haired fairy. I commended Abby. Lee told her he was so proud of her. We made a big show of Abby giving the fairy her binky. It seemed grand.
Abby was all smiles until it was time for bed. During the ensuing screaming and crying, Abby never asked for her binky back. Instead she would cry, "It's hard to sleep without my binky." Awwww. Poor kid.
And it is hard for her. It's been two nights now, and it's a waiting game until she passes out from exhaustion. She won't lie still; she talks to herself or sings; she'll even get up out of bed to wander her room "checking" on her toys. I know she's basically learning how to calm herself down - the thing her binky always did for her. I do think it was a good idea to allow her the chance to give it up on her own terms. After all Abby didn't ask for it back; she made the choice, and I believe she understands it. But it's still hard on her.
"Mommy," Abby whispered at about 11 pm or so during that first night. "The Binky Fairy's not real, you know. She's pretend."
"She is?" I whispered back.
"Yeah, but that's ok. She's got magic."
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