The Ants Go Marching -- Part Three

Yes! We still have ants. AAARRGGHHH!

I'm nearing my wits end. I've tried every inexpensive chemical agent to get rid of these vermin, and nothing cheap is working. I deluded myself into thinking that eco-friendly stuff might actually work - wrong! I deluded myself into thinking I could actually clean up fast enough after the kid and the bird deposit their messes onto the floor - wrong! I deluded myself into thinking that if I just ignored them they might go away - wrong! I deluded myself into thinking that maybe this time, this time, this time, I bought baits that would actually work - wrong!

I can't take it any more!! I'm this close, this close (imagine my index finger and thumb barely a hair's breath away from touching), to quarantining the whole half of the house and nuking it with pesticides that turn ants' bodies to ashes in an instant.

I just don't think I can go on. I'm exhausted. I've already got the little white flag of surrender ready; I just need to raise it up the pole. Do you think our landlord would even notice we've been evicted? There's so many of them; they could probably hold up a pen and scrawl out a check every month for the utilities and rent. Sheesh.